Review of The Stepmoms Toolbox Discussing The Secrets to Stepfamily Success

Gloria Lintermans is author of the book, The Secrets to Stepfamily Success. I have not read it yet as I have barely finished a book, but plan to pick this one up very soon. I'm looking forward to it after hearing her discussion on The Stepmoms Toolbox blog-talk radio.

The most significant point Gloria made was the importance of mourning the loss of the first family. Both children and parents need to expend the energy to mourn in their own way. Gloria gave several phases of the grieving process. Per the chapters in her book, I'm looking forward to reading suggestions of how. I'm confident this grieving process can also be used in the situation of a death of a spouse (parent). Gloria has gone through that personally. One detrimental effect of children not properly mourning the loss of their first family is defiance or anger. Please keep this in mind if you have a child or stepchild acting out or being disobedient.

Another point Gloria discussed is about discipline. She advocates all parents and spouses, including step parents and ex-spouses, should communicate and co-parent together. They should all be cooperative and develop long-range goals. I couldn't agree with this more. I advocate this, too, and readily admit this is the most ideal way to build a healthy strong cohesive stepfamily. I was disappointed, though, that she didn't offer specific ways to accomplish this. It's likely she covers this in the book. I know from working with families clinically how difficult this can be. It's difficult enough for 1 set of parents to agree on discipline issues, yet alone 2 sets (4 parents). For these families, total agreement may seem impossible. Setting up household rules is a step in that direction. Be sure to include consequences for breaking the rules and any specific exceptions. Gloria didn't mention that tip directly, but later suggested to set age-appropriate limits or rules.

When asked about a situation in which a StepMom was involved with a non-cooperative BioMom, Gloria reiterated the need for all co-parents to work together. If BioMom has any mental illness, BioDad should petition the court for full custody. She admitted there is no good answer because "chaos" ensues without good co-parenting. I somewhat disagree. Yes, the answer is not an easy one. Giving an answer is remarkably easier than implementing any tools. Although petitioning the court for full custody has benefits and is possible, it is a very arduous process and likely to fuel tempers and increase arguments. It detracts from the children having easy access to both parents. Many of us already know the research expressing the developmental advantages of children with both parents. Plus, full custody is not practical or possible for all families.

The answer is related to setting boundaries for your family household - empowering yourselves with the right perspective. The right perspective is total acceptance of BioMom. You have no control over her and cannot change her if she doesn't want to change. This does not mean you have to play games. You and your spouse decide your limits of what you will and will not allow, what you will and will not do, and how far you will bend. You can do this and still treat BioMom with respect and courtesy. The biggest effect of total acceptance is the disappearance of resentment and anger. It is amazing how much more stable a once chaotic household can become once this is achieved. It's not quick and easy, but it can be done. All worthwhile goals take time and effort. This is one of them.

Gloria also discussed the higher divorce rate of stepfamilies. There is no consensus on the statistic because many cohabiting stepfamilies are not included in divorce stats when they separate. Some stats estimate the inclusion of cohabitation, while others do not. I've seen the stat as high as 85% and low as 66%. Whichever stat is used, there is no mistake that 2nd families break up more frequently than first families. The percentages of stepfamilies that stick through the challenges estimate that it takes 7-10 years for them to feel comfortable with each other as a stepfamily.

The ladies on Stepmoms Toolbox are in successful stepfamilies and I'm very pleased for them. They commented that stepfamilies should "stick it out" because "it hurts but won't kill you." From my personal experience in a stepfamily, as well as a professional working with stepfamilies, I can not agree with this as a blanket statement. Many unhealthy behaviors and attitudes exist in the stepfamilies who separate. Unless these behaviors and attitudes are transformed into positives, maybe breaking up is better for these families. Maybe a few of them are dying emotionally. Maybe they're changing into somebody they don't want to be. Maybe they are developing addictions in order to cope. There are many other maybe's. All of them are just more reasons to seek out a Stepfamily Professional. A professional may be able to reverse the negative trend into a positive. If not, at least a professional could provide a healthier perspective of the family's situation.

Several parents swear they will never marry or move in with somebody again because of how emotionally stressful the first situation was. That is the reason my mom decided to never remarry after divorcing my dad. I, too, felt that way when I first left my stepmom role. It took me a couple years to overcome that. What made the difference for me is understanding the dynamics of step and figuring out what could've been done differently to get different results. Through intensive soul-searching, I figured out how I had attracted a dysfunctional family. Now that I have finally found inner peace, I feel confident that I'll attract the right relationship/man when I'm ready. Our internal psyche leads us to others with a similar psyche, whether we realize it or not. Chapter Four of Gloria's book discusses remarrying the right people for the right reasons.

There is 1 final angle from the discussion I'd like to bring up. On the subject of a stepmom without children of her own coming into a stepfamily, Gloria's comments placed the burden of learning and adjusting on the stepmom. Because this blog-talk radio show is targeted to stepmoms, it stands to reason why she didn't mention the biological dad. Still, it was an oversight to not urge StepMom to confide in and lean more on her husband. This would only work if he also took the time and energy to learn about stepfamily dynamics and committed to adjusting *together*. The step parent and bio parent is the foundation of the stepfamily. Being a team increases the likelihood of becoming a healthy stepfamily.

On this same topic, Gloria imparted valuable insights. She mentioned the importance of learning new tools of parenting, admitting you don't know everything and are sometimes wrong, and have no desire to "replace" or be a better "Mom". I completely agree with all of these insights. I'd further extend this suggestion to the bio parent. Bio parents sometimes get stuck in parenting a certain way, as if they always know best because they are the natural parent. This is not always the case. They are also human, which makes them fallible. Sometimes, their internal emotions of guilt or pride cloud their judgment. Moreover, many single and joint parents turn into the "holiday parent" and lax on discipline. Little to no discipline by the bio parent translates to a tougher adjustment and more stress on a stepmom. A stepmom without children of her own is more acutely stressed when she is perceived to not know anything about parenting when in fact the bio dad is not disciplining appropriately. This is common in many households in which the step parent has no biological offspring.

The "Click Here" Market

As much as TV commercials would occupy more air time than the actual TV shows, ads on web pages are consistently growing in number and they can be found in almost every part of the web page, occupying every free space available. A search engine such as Google is currently running Google AdSense - an application that maximizes web advertising in order to reach more users and aid webmasters to gain both visits from users and income from their websites.

It is easier to understand AdSense through its purpose and function as an application. Google provides them with keywords which they will purchase and from these keywords, webmasters can start to create advertisements using texts, images, and videos depending on their site's concept to promote their sites and get more surfers to literally, "pay them a visit". Webmasters get paid from these ads by either a per-click basis, or a per-impression basis. Many have benefited from this application, whether they are webmasters or simply writing articles. Although not all websites are business oriented; selling products online and the like, webmasters can use AdSense as a means of funding their sites in order to keep them running.

Websites involved with the AdSense application get more chances of being visited since their ads are also displayed in other websites other than those run by Google. Their publicity becomes vast and their target market will be easily reached. Although the initial response of surfers would be to ignore these ads to directly get to the sites, increasing the number of websites where ads are published to increases the possibility of having surfers to visit them. Google takes charge of storing these ads and placing them in other websites.

This is an essential part in making the ads effective. Google classifies ads and puts them in websites where they will be easily noticed, basing on the kind of surfers to possibly visit the site. Ads are placed in ideal websites where in both are related or of use to one another, giving the users more access to whatever they need from the web. In other words links are created and along with the growth of these links, is the growth of the web market.

What makes these ads work, other than the various gimmicks that make them inviting are the contents of the site itself. The more useful articles, videos, and images contained in the advertised sites, the more visits they'll get from surfers since they are able to provide what the surfers are looking for and so the benefits go both ways. Since the internet is now a cradle for anything people want and need, the more an ad can provide the more it is considered. Eventually, the site's reliability will be its asset which will then be known to the web market, and all this began with an ad Webmasters, no matter the difference in their size are given by this application an equal opportunity to be more a part of the web market and earn through ads even before visiting the site itself.

Figure Skating Jumps Defined

Watching figure skating on TV can be entertaining, but inevitably you will ask yourself what the difference is between a triple flip and a double lutz. They all look about the same, with the skater launching himself into the air and spinning rapidly a few times before landing on one foot, moving backwards. However, the jumps all have subtle differences which dictate their level of difficulty, and accordingly, their score rating.

A lutz is entered into on a pick from a backward outside edge. A flip is entered into on a pick from a backward inside edge. The loop and salchow are entered into without the help of the pick push. The skater must launch up into the air directly from the correct edge. In the case of the loop, the take-off is from the backward outside edge of the same leg he will land on. The salchow takes off from the backward inside edge of the opposite from the landing leg. The toe loop (or cherry flip) is the loop, but with an added pick for takeoff. Confusing? There is only one jump in figure skating with a forward take-off, and that is the axle. You take off from the tip of the foot and land backward on the other foot after one and a half revolutions on the air. Add revolutions and you have double and triple axles.

All the jumps can be performed with a single revolution, or a double, or triple, etc. Quads factor in nowadays too, with more and more skaters able to achieve four full revolutions before landing

Do Breast Enhancement Pills Such as Quick Bust Really Work

So, you're interested in other alternatives to surgery... to augment your breasts. Perhaps you want to enlarge or enhance your breasts out of disappointment, feeling less confident, or perhaps you just want to fill out your beautiful bras out more than they currently are. You like many women are asking the question, "Do breast enhancement pills like Quick Bust really work?" Bigger breasts seem to the pinnacle of desire for a lot of people these days, specifically due to the increasing numbers of women getting the surgical breast augmentation procedure; it's almost like an ego boost or a status check.

You may want bigger breasts, but you certainly don't want the large, very round, non-moving, and often times very fake look of breast implants. Prior days if you were such, you'd really just have to live with the breast you had, and come to like them. Now, with the advance of modern science and neutraceutical technology, there are some very extremely effective alternatives to surgical breast augmentation. So, that brings us back to our original question, do breast enhancement pills such as Quick Bust really work?

Yes they do! Period. Quick Bust breast enhancement pills do really work. However, as a quick word of advice, "Buyer Beware!" for other alternative breast enhancement products. Most of them don't work, not at all! Not just that they don't work, but there are many that actually produce undesirable side effects and even the ones that do produce some results, there are some strict guidelines that you need to adhere to for maximum effectiveness. Often times manufactures these types of breast enhancement pills conveniently "forget" to instruct you to follow the strict guidelines in order for their formula to work as advertised and actually commence additional breast growth after your body's mechanisms (natural) have already turned off the breast growing cycle.

First off, you should always avoid caffeine when it's possible. Your hormonal balance can be thrown off by caffeine and it will interfere with your breast growth process, and make your breast enhancement pills, even Quick Bust completely useless and ineffective.

The women you usually have the highest success rate with breast enhancement pills such as Quick Bust actually lowered their carb intake while on the supplement. It's likely because higher protein consumption tends to help with the body's breaking down and absorbing, utilizing of the breast enhancement and breast growth stimulant to the fullest. There are herbs contained in the pills and one must know how to best supplement these for maximum effectiveness with products such as Quick Bust.

In order to find success with breast enhancement pills you just have to stick to the program as advised by the manufacturer. That means if they say to take two pills in the morning, noon and night, follow their directions! Don't cheat, don't take them at the wrong time of the day. Taking breast enhancement pills such as Quick Bust will just about render the pill ineffective. Be sure to stay true to the game and you'll be happy with the results you get.

Well, that's all there is to it. You've got now what it takes to be successful with breast enhancement pills such as Quick Bust. You don't have to go with Quick Bust, we've seen a lot of success with it. There are certainly other viable alternatives to Quick Bust available on the market. Just find the right product, the final result will be up to you!

Post-Season 2006 Baseball Predictions: Rating the Teams

Let's take a look at baseball's post-season rivals and predict who will prevail when the autumn leaves have touched down.

American League:

Oakland A's: They're a balanced team with solid pitching, but they're not particularly deep.

Detroit Tigers: Hands down, their record was the best in the majors for 85% of the season. But were they playing far over their heads? Their September record says "yes," so I expect they'll be respectable, and possibly make it to the American League Championship Series. But then they'll stall.

Minnesota Twins: This is a surprise team that I declared dead less than half-way through the season. Who knew they'd get great pitching, timely hitting, and become one of the hottest teams to streak into October? They have the momentum going in, and if they can keep it up, they could get to the World Series.

New York Yankees: This is a deep, talented, and resilient team. Fighting injuries to key players like Matsui and Sheffield for nearly an entire season, they made some smart trades, literally and figuratively "paying the price" to get to where they are. I look for the Yanks to represent the American League in the Classic.

National League:

St. Louis: Arguably the Cards have the least momentum as they begin post-season play. Nearly eclipsed by the Astros on the final day of the season, the Cards are shaky, at best. Add to this Manager Tony LaRussa's inability to win it all in past World Series chases, and you have a prescription for early tee times for the red birds.

San Diego: I have a blind spot when it comes to evaluating the Padres. For my money, they're so lackluster that you need to see if they have a pulse, most of the time. But with a winning record in 2005 of slightly over .500, they made it to the post-season, and here they are again, having improved only slightly on that percentage this year. But they're not a dominant team, and unless they get ALL of the breaks, I see them departing in the first round.

Los Angeles Dodgers: They play ball, literally, ten minutes from my office, so I'm not impartial when it comes to the Blue Man Group. Still, you have to respect what they've accomplished this year, coming back from the dead, and like the Twins, they have some of the best momentum as they enter the playoffs, having won their last 7 games. They're the National League's Wild Card representative, and literally, they could be the ace in the deck, and win the pot from the more favored players.

New York Mets: The Mets walked away with the Eastern Division crown about a month ago, because they are a solid team. Losing Pedro Martinez to surgery won't hurt their pitching staff, and their slugging is always a threat. Are they complacent or less sharp because they have been in the catbird seat for so long? This is really the only minus that I can see when it comes to their club. They just may have had it too easy of late, and be missing their earlier sharpness and hunger.

So, if I had to put up some dough, I'd predict a Subway Series between the Yanks and Mets, and I would predict the Yanks to take it in seven games.

But for the sheer joy of it, I'd prefer to see a Dodgers-Yankees match-up.

Either way, we're about to see some great baseball, so the fans will definitely win!

What You Need to Know About Wage Garnishment and Bankruptcy

There are both state and federal laws which allow for wage garnishments, and also legal options you have to avoid garnishments. How do garnishments work? When will you receive a garnishment? What legal options do you have?

Basics of Garnishment A garnishment is a common action used by creditors who have no other legal options in collecting money you owe. The company will go to court, show what you owe, and ask for a wage garnishment. Usually, this involves getting your wages garnished until the debt is paid. If you have no income and few if any assets, you rarely have to worry about garnishment. If on the other hand you do have a job, these wages can be taken. There are ways to protect yourself, and we'll be going over them.

What Will Happen? As noted, you will only get a garnishment against you if you have some money or income coming in. In some states, you can also receive a vehicle garnishment, where your car can be repossessed. State laws differ on vehicle garnishment, usually depending on the equity of the vehicle.

Usually, you face wage garnishment. This begins with the creditor going through the court first, then a sheriff going to your place of work and serving garnishment papers. Your employer will then have to take a portion of your check until the payment is made in full. Typically, it only occurs in higher than minimum-wage paying jobs, and sometimes can be stopped if you already have an ongoing wage garnishment.

What Can Stop It? You have some legal options when it comes to stopping a wage garnishment. First, if your income is coming from Social Security benefits, worker's compensation, a retirement plan, any disability or unemployment benefits, or public assistance, usually the wages cannot be taken. Your other option is to file bankruptcy. In any case where you fear wage garnishment or you just received a notice of it, you need professional legal counsel. One of the best ways to stop a wage garnishment is to file bankruptcy.

How to Get Bankruptcy Help to Stop Garnishment Your options for personal bankruptcy are Chapter 7 and Chapter 13. These do require the help of a bankruptcy lawyer. The main benefit here is that you can not only stop the wage garnishment, but either discharge the debt entirely with a Chapter 7 plan or pay it on an affordable schedule with a Chapter 13 repayment plan. Filing bankruptcy is not always your best option, but if you can be free of the debt or pay only a portion, it can have big benefits.